Random Thought Thursday: Earth Day

What time is it: 625P

Where am I: OK Gold Gymnatics. Squeezing 30 minutes of watching Geo in before running to pick up C ... I am officially a "stay-in-the-car-mom". What would that be? SITCM?

Last ate: Home-made chicken and rice soup. I'd planned on chicken salad but the cold front required an audible.

Listening to: the hum of parents comparing children and lives as they, like me, "watch" their children

Thoughts: Tomorrow is Earth Day. I can perfectly remember Earth Day of my 5th grade year. I am standing by the water fountain ... The night before I hadn't put away my shoes and thus couldn't find them in time for school ... Mom was not happy... Sent me to school wearing the first pair of shoes she could find.... So, I'm wearing one size too big, bright blue rain boots ... Paired nicely with dark leggings and an oversized, long sleeved white shirt ... It has a duck or some strange cartoon creature on the front ... Standing their wishing I could spend the day in the bathroom (yes, even I can actually be embarrassed by "fashion"). ... But you know ... I don't remember losing my shoes again after that.

Happy Earth Day

Random Thought Thursday: Gifts

What time is it: 1007A

Where am I: standing at the kitchen counter, trying to fit a blog post in at least once this week

Last ate: Hmm... I think I ate breakfast. That or the Altoid is holding me over well. So let's go with breakfast

Listening to: the electricians in the dining room-- new dining room light goes up today!

Thoughts: ISH is a very thoughtful child. Should he choose to marry, he will certainly be a good catch one day.

 Why is this? He knows the way to a woman's heart is thoughtful gifts. He's forever brining me treasures from the outside to brighten my day.

"I brought you this leaf because it has some black on and and I know black is your favorite color."

So sweet.

However.... last night's gift left on my bedside table might need a Mulligan.

Thanks for the effort though little one.

If Life is a Highway

What time is it: 618P though my eyes tell me they think it should be later

Where am I: Oklahoma Christian University library while C has tutoring; realizing I have likely spent more time here in the past month than all four years of school combined... though... in reality I was hardly on campus those four years which is a prerequisite to being in the library

Listening to: a girl desperately trying to explain to dad how to send a file to her school email since mom is not home to do it.  It's like that scene out of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Thoughts:  I've been spending a lot (A LOT) of time in the car lately and have two very odd thoughts to come of all this driving.

1- I honestly don't know what the speed limit is most of the time.  I don't know if space out between the stop light and the sign or if I'm checking the mirrors to change lanes or messing with kids or whatever (and no- I'm not texting, that's been saved for the long waits at the the stoplight) but whatever the time warp situation may occur, most of the way into the stretch of asphalt and I realize I have no clue what speed I should be going.  None.  And I have begun to think that they should put a courtesy "Hey Moron" speed limit sign somewhere in the middle of the mile for people like me. So as it stands I aim for 40.  Most of the time in Edmond that's either 5 over (and I pray for grace from the police) or 5 under (and I pray for understanding from the drivers around me).

2- When people are walking on the sidewalk near the road and I'm driving in the right-hand lane, I have this fear that they will trip and fall on to the road and I will have to suddenly swerve to miss them.  Which is why texting is relegated to stoplights.

Random Thought Thursday: Thankful

What time is it: 115P

Where am I: the lobby of a local business

Listening to: a person applying for a job speaking with someone about positions open. Getting the ins and outs of the business.

Thoughts: I'm waiting in the lobby while one of the kids has an appointment. Over the last month the main thing I've learned is to grab time as it comes. I'm still working (and working full time) but instead of sitting in my office to work, many times these days it's done from the front seat of the car as I wait in carpool lines or, like today, in random places when I'm able to pick up a wifi signal. Today, I'm thankful for unprotected wifi.

I woke up this morning thinking the day would be a series of one appointment to another. But my 10 o'clock (that was 30 minutes away and schedule exactly 30 minutes after ISH went to school) had to reschedule. Today I'm thankful for unexpected time.

I left piles of dishes used in preparation for dinner in the sink as I ran from home to this appointment. Today I'm thankful for LK who helps around the house making so much of my life possible.

What are you thankful for today?

What time is it: 1039P

Where am I: my bed. I love that my bed is actually in New House! Though it was a weird feeling to be closer to the ceiling than my month and a half on the air mattress provided.

Last ate: LK's and mine nightly hot drink, but if you don't count apple cider as "eaten" then dinner I guess.

Listening to: The Colbert Report

Thoughts: I have tons to finish between now and this time tomorrow. I must go to bed. So unfortunately there's not time or energy to go into the thoughts I have rattling around in my head. Thoughts about the absurdity of OK weather (it was 8 last week and 80 today). Thoughts this blog post put in my mind about the beauty of floating.  Thoughts on Geo's questions about death and "the box" (I didn't tell him mommy has no plans for the box- this body's going to science baby!). Thoughts on me trying to get back into a regular routine following the move here, C's move in, and the two weeks of snow.  Reflections on ISH's thoughts from today on super heros v Star Wars and his plan on how to passively fight "bad guys." Thoughts on how the last week has gone as we've enacted mandatory 5:30 news watching.

So instead, I'll leave you with this thought- I am very certain that at least once today each one of my children tried to talk while I was in the bathroom.  I guess the secret of that being mom's only alone time was a lie.

RTT: Mercy

At least I think it's Thursday.  It's been almost 2 weeks that kids have more or less been out of school and church has been canceled due to Snowklahoma that I can't really remember what day it is now.

What time is it: 851A

Where am I: in the lovely light-filled dining room that is now complete with FURNITURE!

Listening to: Johnny Test on the TV in the living room and Isa's toenails tapping on the window sill as she nervously surveys the comings and goings of squirrels.

Thoughts: We're settling in here with our new family dynamics, though we thought that two weeks in we'd have more school under our belt (than ZERO days) and a bit more of a routine together. However, C reminded me the other day that everything happens for a reason. And I think she's right because some good learning moments for all have come from hours upon hours of forced togetherness.

I'm immensely grateful to all of you who have texted, emailed, and called to give words of encouragement.  I cannot express how much that has meant to me.

We watched the Blind Side last night, C, LK and myself. It was everything I could do to not boo hoo my way through that one. Especially now.

I drove past a church on Tuesday whose sign read:

Blessed are the merciful for they shall be shown mercy

And I smiled.  But it wasn't so much because I think that through my actions here I will be racking up some extra karma for the times when I'm unbearable.  And while I believe in some very real ways we will be shown mercy through some of what we're doing here, I think the main point of this is that because I have been shown mercy, I can't not be merciful.

C asked me once why we're doing this.  Why her, why now.

"Because I have God that has redeemed me, picked me up, and given me second chances," I said.

In other words, because I've been shown mercy.

RTT: Before I Get Old

What time is it: 1007p

Where am I: at kitchen table making my way towards bed-- trying to be better about getting up early means needing to equally be better at going to bed earlier.

Listening to: two fridges dueling it out-- need to move borrowed fridge out now that real fridge is here. REAL FRIDGE IS HERE!!!

Thoughts:
Geo has really been into the Diary of a Whimpy Kid Books so for Christmas we got him the Do-It-Yourself book.  Within the book there is a list of "Things You Should Do Before You Get Old."  I was pretty proud of the fact that I could check off many things on the list.  But one of them- one of them has alway alluded me.  Until tonight.

Tonight I win.  Tonight I made it through a whole lollipop without biting it.  And a toostie roll pop at that. Check!

RTT: Truly Random

What time is it: 936p

Where am I: at the new kitchen table at New House. HORRAY!

Listening to: LK clean up from dinner (I married a great man!)

Last ate: Hearty Beef Stew with warm rolls, but I'm contemplating trying out the pumpkin cream cheese muffins Flower brought over tonight.

Thoughts: I think it's been a month since I officially did a RTT. It's hard to describe the last month except the say that after the contract went bust, we still decided to mostly move and have been living with borrowed furniture and sleeping on air mattresses. But it's not as bad as it sounds. How great is it to be able to fold up your dining room table and chairs when not in use ... we really need to have a bowling contest in there before the real table comes. And as I've been saying, nothing shows how much a man loves his wife as when he inflates her bed for her in the evening. And I say her bed because yes, we are on separate twin air mattresses. Just call us Ozzie and Harriet.

I picked up a paint brush for the first time in a month today. Something about that dining room ceiling- it's the one thing that needs to be done before the large furniture arrives and the one thing I can't get motivated to finish. But T- 6 days til move in so I best get after it.

ISH and I had the best belly laugh tonight as I was trying to get him ready for bed. It was in no uncertain terms completely unproductive for bed-time readiness but it was equally in no uncertain terms one of those moments I wanted to freeze frame forever. Click.

LK is now off to play a game of "old men basketball." My parting words to him before such games: remember your insurance card. Yup, not as cool for sure.

RTT: Busted.

What time is it: 925P

Where am I: Old House kitchen table, coming to terms that unlike I had thought, this will likely not be my last RTT from Old House

Listening to: My computer fan spin.

Last ate: Chex Mix (store bought) which I found to be lacking in taste and thus only has me craving for some good homemade stuff.

Thoughts: I have a post I started on Monday that is 1/2 finished. Started it before the drama. Started it before our buyer walked away and our contract. Started it before I had to fight for at least a little justice in the whole mess. A little justice came- but then left behind it the whole now what question.

I told LK a week ago that I didn't think this would go through- that something with the buyer didn't feel right. I hate it when my intuition is right. And I hate it when I discount intuition only to have it proven after all.

But, I am so thankful for the friends who have stepped up to give a refrigerator to us, or loan us couches, or offer to help move on short notice some- but not all- of our things (got to keep Old House looking her best). This is not going like I thought it would by any means but I'm still able to see so many of the blessing in this and maybe that's what it's about.

And strangely, I have peace. That doesn't mean I'm not frustrated by what happened and it doesn't mean I didn't state what was right and what was not in no uncertain terms, but even still- I do have peace. And I'm thankful for that. Thankful that His left arm is still supporting my head and that even now, His right arm embraces me- and perhaps embracing me more than if we were sailing through to closing day. And that really brings amazing peace.

We put our tree up this week and while all things won't be moved to New House, the boys will ... and I will ... We all will be together on Christmas with a tree in one house even if it is not as I had planned it.

I spent 2 weeks and 2 days killing myself to have a house ready for move in day. So tonight I will reward myself with sleep. And tomorrow night, when we sleep in New House for the first time- two months after having signed on the line- I will reward myself with a nice bath.... that is once I get the cabinet doors out of the tub.

RTT: The Goodest Word

What time is it: 841A

Where am I: Old House preparing to head to New House for crunch time work

Listening to: the washing machine churn, ISH play Lego Star Wars, and my stomach growl

Last ate: Per statement above- haven't gotten around to eating breakfast yet, so I guess... coffee.

Thoughts: ISH likes to know the rules not so much in the want-to-know-so-can-break-em sort of way but want-to-know-so-I-don't-do-it-wrong sort of a way (I've said it before and will say it again- I have very compliant children. Blessing!). When we give him a new rule, for roughly the next week we will have discussion with ISH as he comes to make sure his foot is not over the perverible line or more to the point to make sure the foot is not even near the line when he does _______ instead of doing what he knows he should not. Yes, I struggle to not be annoyed by the constant questioning of what is in bounds and is it in bounds enough.  I know he does it with a pure heart.  He's a good puritan child.

Our most recent "we don't do that in this family" conversation was when the 5 year old neighbor dropped the F-bomb. Yes, you saw that right FIVE-YEAR-OLD!!!! Since then ISH has been concerned about the word being in his mind and the possibility of accidentally saying it. It's been a good discussion of the junk-in-junk-out rule.

 Through it all I've been trying to help him by saying that God wants us to focus on whatever is good, noble and pure so if he can focus there, the bad will not be as strong in his mind.  Let's focus on the good words I've told him.

Today he came to me and wanted to know if that is a very bad word, what is the "goodest word."

After a moment of thinking I replied, "Well, I guess it's love.  After all, isn't that all we need."

The great Beatles reference was lost on him. But he's young yet and that means we still have time to install the importance of good music.

Random Thought Thursday: The Santa Question

What time is it: 345P

Where am I: on campus waiting for Geo during piano practice

Listening to: Geo play the piano- auto correcting the line he keeps missing in Ode to Joy.

Last ate: Ramen- the dietary staple of my life as I work at New House which does not yet have a refrigerator.

Thoughts:
I was asked point blank yesterday about Santa by my youngest. Strangely we don't talk about Santa around here, or didn't really until Geo came home from first grade educating us all on the wonders that is.

But strangely, I found myself caught. I don't want to tell my child that there is a kind and loving man watching everything that goes on and if we are good this man will reward us... to only later tell him said man isn't really real but oh by the way let me tell you about God...

So I didn't want to say the truth but didn't want to burst his little happy Santa-loving heart.

Instead, I played the "what do you mean by is Santa real" question to see exactly what he was wanting to know. It boiled down to the question of can Santa go back up the chimney, and he seemed satisfied with the idea he came to that Santa must go out the door.

In my defense I never did say he's real- and in fact once said he wasn't- but then the talent of ISH's selective hearing tuned that out (he, of course, gets that talent from his father).

So I'm curious- do you do Santa? Do you tell your kids he's real? Do you go the route of a past friend of mine whose mom put footprints near the fireplace in the name of childhood magic? Do you squelch any Santa talk in the name of full on honesty? Or do you find yourself somewhere in between?

And in my own defense- at least Agatha the Gift Bearing Beagle did actually exist.

Gobble Gobble

What time is it: 838P

Where am I: at back home after an afternoon with family

Listening to: Football game in one room, ELF on in here - love the way Zooey sings

Last ate: Oh good heavens! It's Thanksgiving, I don't know if I want to (or could) even answer that.

Thoughts:  Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for my family- those immediate, and those extended.  Those here now, those gone already, those yet to come.

I'm thankful for my friends- the new ones I've been blessed to meet this year and those who are my steady constants.

I'm thankful for my job.

I'm thankful for the trips I've been able to take this year.

I'm thankful for my boys and for their wonderfully curly hair.

I'm thankful for LK and the marriage that, as we were both discussing late one night, we can't imagine being without.

I'm thankful for the life that I have no idea why I have been blessed to live- but the life I hope I am living to the fullest- giving back and enjoying the ride.

My cup overflows,

Random Thought Thursday: When

I. Am. Tired.

I am ready to be done painting.

I am ready for the house to sell.

I am, however, not ready to have to pack and move.

It seems at these times in life I understand the deist stance. That or the pagan thought of what sacrifice do I need to offer to make this harvest plentiful.

Is 9pm too early for bed?

Random Thought Thursday: Rocks

What time is it: 1102P

Where am I: at the old house (oh the life of a land baroness)

Listening to: Frasier rerun

Last ate: I don't know if it counts as "eaten" but I did finally get around to trying an Earl Gray Latte from Starbucks, pretty good. Not a regular choice in the making, but not bad.

Thoughts
I think next year they'll add "2 bags of playground rocks" to Geo's school supply list. Judging by the amount of rocks the kid brings home in his shoes each day that's the minimum I will owe them by August of next year.

Random Thought Thursday: The Other

What time is it: 257P

Where am I: in line at Geo's school waiting for pick up time

Listening to: ISH in the backseat count to 100 over and over then randomly break into some previously unknown song.

Last ate: Fuji Apple salad from Panera. About to go to Starbucks and get some afternoon coffee with Mom (thankful to have them in town for a bit)

Thoughts
Yes, I'm one of those people. I'm one of those people who googles my name every now and then to see what's out there. But what I have found from this exercise has become very helpful over the last few weeks. Apparently there is another with my exact name, another who creates some pretty interesting things. Another whose friends inadvertently send emails to me which are originally intended for the other. Such as emails from her love interest inviting her to New York for the weekend. Or emails from the place she use to work asking her to come to this year's Christmas party. Or emails from other roommates with new roommate applications attached. You have no idea the temptation I've had to fight from the reality of the fun I could have screwing with her life.

Word to the wise - check the "to" field when sending emails.  You never know what kind of a weapon that information in the hands of the other could become.

Random Thought Thursday: Edmond-centric Me

What time is it: 1013A

Where am I: in the living room with the backdoor open, enjoying the cool, crisp, fall weather

Listening to: The clock tick beside the computer reminding me that I still have work to catch up on- still have things waiting to be accomplished today.

Last ate: Oh dear, well, to be honest I think it was cold, leftover, Chick-fil-a nuggets ISH didn't want to eat last night. I'm sure three days from now he will remember them and want them and I will (again) have to admit that I ate them instead. I'm sure this is in some way giving my children a complex we will have to deal with in therapy later on, but then, I mean really, would the chicken still be good when he comes around to remembering it?

Thoughts: I've never considered myself to be Edmond-centric, or Oklahoma-centric, or even USA-centric.

I've traveled enough to know there are other people out there. Other people who do things differently than I do, other people who matter just as much as I do.

And yet, when I was at the Continent Care Connection, I found myself face to face with my own Edmond-centric thoughts.

Maybe it was because the first time I heard "God of This City" it was when my church was preparing for a work down in my city and so the words were clearly being applied to my life here. Or maybe it's because I had never been in another city and heard this song sung.

But on the opening day of our time with the ladies in South American, when they sang God of This City, I realized they weren't singing about Edmond, or Oklahoma. They were singing about the places they lived. They were singing about the work they are doing and the ways they are witnessing God move in their cities. And like that I felt a deep connection with the women there.

We may not all live in the same city- even the 17 women from the Connection Team don't live in the same city let alone the 41 participants. But we all witness the same God move in amazing ways where we are.

So when I came back I knew this song needed to be added to the way I now see not only Brazil, but also the way I see the numerous other places these women came from. Their mission is now deeply within my heart- the same mission I have here in my city- to show others how great the love of God is- how much he wants to be in our lives. To show them that no matter the city, He is God.

Random Thought Thursday, the Eve of 32

What time is it: 859P

Where am I: in the living room with LK

Listening to: Mom and Grannie in one room preparing for the week ahead, dad in another room wrapping up a business call, and the boys radio playing their good-night CD- an odd mixture in deed that is every now and again peppered with snorts or groans from the dog.

Last ate: The Wedge Pizza (the Prosciutto E Formaggi is by far my fav) about to be followed up by Lemon Raspberry Cheesecake, a lovely family birthday celebration

Thoughts: Tomorrow I leave for Brazil. My first time to the South American continent. Tomorrow I'll be on my way to 6 continents down, 1 to go. And yes, I do plan on getting to Antartica before I die if nothing more than to prove those who say I can't wrong.

Tomorrow I turn 32. Birthdays aren't a sad time for me- I don't pout or cry because I'm getting older. (I do, however, firmly believe that with birthdays come cake. No cake on my birthday- then you'll see pouting and tears -- you can ask LK on that one).

I love birthdays. Not because it's all about me- but more that it's fun to be getting older. I even love the fact that I've started to get gray hair. I figure if I'm not getting older, I'm dead- so I'd rather be getting older. And hey! I turn 32 tomorrow and am at this very moment wearing (and wearing well) pants I bought when I was 21 (thanks to Woolite and -most the the time- smart eating habits). So getting older doesn't mean it's all downhill. Getting older is just part of this grand adventure I plan on living for as long as I can (and living it well).

Sitting here feeling blessed,

RTT: Confessions (aka Day 1)

What time is it: 1020P

Where am I: kitchen table, sitting across from LK as he works on a video for work

Listening to: LK intermittently singing lines from I and Love and You

Last ate: Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Chic-fil-a (yum!)

Thoughts: I didn't make it through my 40 days of prayer.  I feel I need to confess that.  One night, around day 30, I just fell asleep before having the quiet time.  I could have picked right back up the next day but I think I was too disappointed in myself for having fallen asleep without really even thinking about it (in other words, I was pouting a little).

Now, the good Puritan in me, the one that comes out every now and again, screams in fear "What hast thou done!" (she's Puritan, you know, so of course she speaketh in the King James)  "Surely the Lord will smite you now!"  And yes, I am fighting the thought that the "something" I had coming towards me at the end of my 40 days has now been removed because I failed.

I really think I have that pity party under control now.

But I am picking the 40 days back up.  Back at day one.  And not because I fear that I won't receive what that "something" was.  But more because I keep hearing "make your vow to the Lord and stick with it." (KHV)  and not out of fear but more out of the simple following through with what I told God I would do.

So Wednesday was day one and, unlike my first day one, it was not a monversation of me outlining to God my way of how he should do it.  Instead I read Psalms 1-5 and sat still, mentally saying to myself Psalm 1:3:

like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season

Now, I won't promise that I'm going to discuss with you every thought I have during this time mainly because I feel some of this might get a bit too personal to throw out in a place that Google will eventually come along and index.  But I do feel these two thoughts are worthy of indexing.

1. Just because my tree is planted by the streams of water, doesn't mean my roots are seeking the water.  And if my roots aren't seeking the water, than my tree's not really going to get anywhere.  In other words, my loving and wonderful parents raised me in the church and I am so grateful to them for my heritage of faith.  From birth my tree was planted by the water.  But if I'm not in this all together, full-open-handed-surrender to God, than I'm just living near life, but not living in life.  I'm just by what can fill my soul in a way that nothing in this world can, but that doesn't mean I'm drinking in all it has to offer.

2. Trees will only yield fruit in their season.  When we move, I'll be leaving behind the wonderful plum tree we found in our yard this past spring.  ISH had so much fun searching for plum every morning and we enjoyed all the fresh fruit the has to offer (I will surely miss it).  But as much as we loved the fruit from that tree, I keep having to explain to my dear sweet boy that it's not plum season now, there is no new fruit to pick from the tree.  As with me, even if my roots are reaching deep deep into the water, I can't make fruit come.  I can't force a plum tree to bring fruit in September and I can't force the production of something God is doing within me.  A plum tree needs all the seasons to allow the conditions to be right so that plums will form- in their season.  And for me, all things have to be experienced, the time has to pass, all things working together for the fruit to come.

Looking forward to the next 39 days and beyond.

Random Thought Thursday

It's still pretty much project central around here but there's still at least time for a little RTT

What time is it: 949P

Where am I: in the living room on the couch, slipcovers off, room pretty well cleared, waiting for the new carpet to be installed tomorrow.

Listening to: The fan on my computer. I'm' not sure why it's going

Last ate: Thai food with LK, celebrating an attained work goal.

Thoughts: The last 28 days I've been rather silent, I know. But some of what's been going on is hard to just throw out there into the blogosphere.  I suppose the best way to describe the past 28 days is that of beginning a journey. I've been feeling something well up inside for the past 18 months- a call to .... well .... something. And up to a few weeks ago I've been running around trying to tag what I think that "something" is.

 And then I felt God call me to 40 days of dedicated prayer with him. The first few days -- oh dare I admit weeks?!-- were basically me coming to God with my version of how things should go, spoken in monologue form.

And then somewhere along the way I realized maybe I should give God a bit of time in the monversation I had created, so I started reading through Psalms, which has been nice.

And then this last weekend I met with 14 other women to begin training for the Continent Care Connection I will take part in come October. I think if this were a book, the past weekend would be one of the middle-of-the-book chapters. Things have happened before, and things are happening since, but that weekend was where something changed.

Prior to last weekend this welling-up, call-to-something was beginning to over take me. It was like my mom said to LK when I was preggo with Geo "when she starts to vacuum the lawn, you know it's time." I felt like I was ready to go vacuum the lawn. I just wanted an answer!

But last weekend I spent time in contemplative prayer. Time doing nothing but asking for the grace to know God and be known by Him. And it was life changing.

In sign language when you sign "change" one hand completely flips from the top to the bottom. That's what happened.  Do I still want to know what the "something" is - yes. But it's moved from a vacuuming the lawn, to peaceful anticipation.

Looking forward to where this all leads....

Random Thought Thursday + 1

I know! There was a time when you thought I wouldn't shut up and now here I am going days without a word.  But between work, getting kids ready for the start of school, and starting to toy with the idea of moving to a different house (which in turn means projects to the nth degree)-- blogging has moved down the list more than a few notches.

But here's my RTT on Friday-

What time is it: 1207P

Where am I: kitchen table, sitting under the new chandelier I installed last night

Listening to: Word Girl playing on the TV in the living room (ISH hasn't started school yet)

Last ate: Um with all the projecting I haven't been eating regular food just grabbing what I can when. I think the last thing I ate was probably yogurt. Or maybe it was the rice krispy treat, but I think it was yogurt.

Thoughts:
It's hard to determine which was my worst idea of the week. It's probably a toss up between the spray paint and the paint stripper. But I am thankful for my dear LK who is not an "I told you so" sort of a guy, even when it is very very very very deserved.