I'm glad he didn't ask to see the chicken

Thanks to Gena for the inspiration:

Before we had even entered the stage of losing teeth, I wasn't too sure what I thought about the Tooth Fairy. In our house, we had already decided to only mention Santa when he was mentioned to us (happened for the first time this year @ age 6.5) and instead discuss the virtues of Agatha the Gift-Bearing Beagle (another post for another day). And while there are baskets at Easter it's not attributed to a bunny- so we were set on those celebrations.

And it's not that I'm against the make-believe world of children- I think it's fun and let ISH talk about his invisible friends like Jacabed, Chi-cha and Soup (even though Jacabed is the creepiest imaginary friend I've ever known). Maybe it's just that we are a cash-less home and that the bank has yet to approve the requested at home ATM and that somehow a bank transfer confirmation printed and slipped under his pillow just wouldn't be the same. Or maybe it's just that I like to be little different and this is one of my outlets.

And since the first two were lost the summer before Kindergarten while he was eating cookies, and then immediately swallowed, we didn't have to cross the Tooth Fairy bridge at that time. The third tooth was lost in kindergarten and then lost somewhere in the house- but Geo made no mention of a fairy that time either.

So when it came to the Tooth Fairy it had been a Scarlett O'Hara kind of thing for us.

But these last two came loose in the First Grade, and apparently in first grade, The Fairy is all the rage.

His top two teeth came loose sometime around the end of October and while we started telling him how fun it would be to really be able to sing "All I want for Christmas," he started telling us that this loss would mean a visit (and money) from the Tooth Fairy.

ISH, at the wise age of 3, was already clued in that the money hadn't come before so he started professing that "No fairies live in Oklahoma." And I held on to that for as long as I could. When Geo would mention the Tooth Fairy, I'd ask ISH "Are there fairies in OK?"
"Nope"
"Well Geo," I'd respond, "I don't know if the Tooth Fairy can come, ISH doesn't think they are allowed in Oklahoma."

And this held us for a little while longer.

Thanksgiving AND Christmas came and went and those teeth were still holding strong and by mid January those teeth were starting to rival some of Britain's worst and we knew it was time for them to go! But, with the help of a few late night propaganda conversations from Geo to ISH I'm sure, by this time ISH was a believer too and I needed a new plan.

Along came my saving grace! In school Geo's class read I Lost My Tooth in Africa and Geo was fascinated with how, in some parts of Africa,

[teeth are] put it under a gourd for the African tooth fairy, who will exchange it for two chickens! Happily this happens, and even better, the chickens lay eggs

But all Geo remembered was if you put a tooth in a bowl in the morning it will be a chicken. (And somehow letting my child believe in this sort of magic seemed more fun to me than the Tooth Fairy, so I went with it). When Geo would mention the Tooth Fairy, I'd remark how cool it would be to see if they can become chickens.

Tooth fairy ... chicken
Tooth Fairy! ... chickens!

At the end of January the teeth were more gnarly than every and they needed to be removed! So we hyped up the joy of tying a string to the tooth and to the door, and eventually Geo agreed to our plan.

Three hours, multiple attempts, a little blood, and lots of tears later and the teeth were finally out. And suddenly I realized in all my effort to down play the Tooth Fairy- I had some how promised my child a chicken.

Now I had to think fast. .... I live in the city ... I have no access to chickens ... but .... I have access to .... EGGS! I have access to eggs!

"Geo," I said, "I think what would be really cool is if the teeth turned into chickens and the chickens laid an egg before it went off to live a happy tooth-chicken life in the wild."

"Do you think the egg it lays would then hatch into another chicken?" Geo questioned excitedly

No! No chickens! We can hatch no chickens!

"Better than that!" I thought quickly, "would be if the chicken laid the eggs, ran off to live in the wild, and we were able to have omelets for breakfast!"

"With bacon?!" He was buying it!

"Of course with bacon! What tooth chicken lays an egg for breakfast without considering bacon!"

So before tucking him that night we placed the teeth in a bowl he'd made at the OKC Festival of the Arts last summer, and in the early morning light, just before the seven zero zero wake up call-- I exchanged the teeth for omelet making eggs and started cooking the bacon.

Giving future therapists job security,