Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A moment of honesty before we begin our new relationship

When I look at you doubtful that you will be here long, it's not that you've let me down, but it's more the-woman-before-me complex those before you have given me.

There was the first, the one shortly after I moved to Memphis, the one that left one year into our relationship, suddenly, and with a large cloud of smoke trailing behind.

I was left in shock after that, unsure of where to go from there, until I was introduced to the second-- shiny and flashy and powerful, but that one didn't like my dog or it's hair and left soon after coming.

Then there was the third- the one with the long hose that did the job better than any that had come before it. But something went wrong with that relationship that I cannot explain.  Maybe it was my fault, maybe it wasn't.  But there was just a sense of no longer being interested in working on the relationship with me, and all I was left with was that hose.

And then there was the promised land. I heard others speak about it in hushed and reverent tones using word like "the best" and "without fault." But it was a delicate type and needed more attention than I could give and liked being at the shop for work more than with me. That kind of lack of commitment just couldn't work for me.

And now there's you. They say you'll be committed to working with me no matter what.  They say you'll never lose the spark that is vital to our relationship. I hope they're right. But there's doubt- a five relationships in eights years kind of doubt- that keeps me from fully believing them.

I just thought, like John Cusack in Must Love Dogs, that we'll never have this chance to be more transparent with each other than in this moment, and I thought you should know.

Sincerely hoping you live up to my expectations,


Chellie said...

A vaccuum.. you're writing to a vaccuum... took me a couple of reads!
I have a Dyson.. maybe it's the one that fits your line about "the best."
I do love it except I think I'm over bagless vaccuums.

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